In the sports universe, my emotional roller coaster is inversely correlated to two major groups: Vikings fans and Philadelphia fans. So, this was a rough week. Sure, the Packers had an easy win over the Lions, but the Vikings pulled another miracle game out of their asses and the Philles, a week after Wernick made a case for them to make it to the World Series, clinched a spot to the Big Show last night. The one potential bright spot in my world this week, the Eagles losing to hapless Oakland Raiders, was a complete waste, as I had them as my pick for the survivor pool. So I was eliminated. Stupid, stupid Philly.
You can read my full Week 6 Picks, or a brief summary below:
GUARANTEED WINNERS
L – Houston Texans @ Cincinnati Bengals (-4.5): The state of Ohio doesn’t know what to do with success.
L – Philadelphia Eagles (-14.5) @ Oakland Raiders: Philly sucks.
W – Tennessee Titans at New England Patriots (-9.5): Kind of, maybe covered.
W – Kansas City Chiefs (+6.5) at Washington Redskins: Called the straight up win. Got it.
FILLERS
W – Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers (-14): Covered in the first 7.5 minutes
L – St. Louis Rams at Jacksonville Jaguars (-10): I said Jacksonville was erratic. I was right.
W – Denver Broncos (+4) at San Diego Chargers: The Kyle Orton bandwagon is strong.
Against the spread:
Last Week: 4-3 (Guaranteed Winners: 2-2; Fillers: 2-1)
Season: 16-11 (Guaranteed Winners: 2-2; Fillers: 2-1)
GUARANTEED WINNERS
- 1. Indianapolis Colts (-14) at St. Louis Rams – Peyton & Co. coming off a bye week playing in a dome against a team that hasn’t won in 368 days and counting. This is a slam dunk. Peyton will play at least 3 quarters to stay fresh after he’s already have a week off and, at that point, they’ll have a big enough lead that Kyle Boller stands no chance of closing this gap to within two touchdowns. Indianapolis, 38 – St. Louis, 13.
2. New England Patriots (-15.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (in London) – I never thought I’d say it, but I actually think Tampa puts up more of a fight than the Tennessee Titans last week. However, Tom Brady on an (inter)national stage will want prove that he’s still the best the NFL has to offer. And The Hoodie is never afraid to run up a score. You can’t really give a “road” team more than 14 or 15 points, but Vegas has. It’s still not going to be enough. I think you could probably push this line to 20 and I’d still take it. New England, 42 – Tampa Bay, 9.
The funny thing is that this Browns sign is probably 10 years old, but still so, so relevant.
3. Green Bay Packers (-7) at Cleveland Browns – This game wasn’t going to be competitive as it was. Now, half of the Cleveland starters have flu-like symptoms. The one thing the Packers have been able to do this year is beat terrible quarterbacks (Jay Cutler, Marc Bulger, Kyle Boller, Duante Culpepper, Drew Stanton). I think our secondary will have a field day against Anderson or Quinn or whoever they throw out there. Green Bay, 33 – Cleveland, 10.
FILLERS
- 4. San Diego Chargers (-5.5) at Kansas City Chiefs – I can’t believe the Chargers, my AFC Super Bowl pick, are already out of the race for the AFC West Division title. They are, again, a complete disappointment. And even though I was a big believer of the Chiefs over the Redskins last week in the battle of supremacy between offensive Native American nicknames, I think they are a far inferior team to the Chargers. San Diego blew the last “must win” game on Monday night against Denver, and now every game is a “must win” for them. I think this is a “will win” game. San Diego, 27 – Kansas City, 17.
5. New York Jets at Oakland Raiders (+7) – The Raiders are a different team at home. They almost beat San Diego opening weekend and actually beat terrible, terrible, terrible Philadelphia Eagles last week. I predicted a 4-12 season for the Jets. They gave themselves a nice 3 game cushion earlier this year, but they have since turned in to the team I expected. The Raiders can run the ball, something the Jets have difficulty stopping, especially with Kris Jenkins out, so there is a chance. I’m still not predicting an Oakland win, but I think they keep it close enough. New York Jets, 17 – Oakland, 13.
6. Chicago Bears (+1.5) at Cincinnati Bengals – I watched the Chicago-Atlanta game on Sunday night. Chicago beat themselves. They were the superior team on the field, in my opinion — which is tough to do, because Atlanta is pretty good. And if the Bengals can get embarrassed at home to Houston, I think the streak continues against the Cutlers. Chicago, 24 – Cincinnati, 20.
7. Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers (-4) – More than anything, I just really, really need Pittsburgh to win. Rashard Mendenhall will finally get exposed as a no-talent ass clown, but I think Roethlisberger will be able to handle the Minnesota defense. The Vikings have good wins against Detroit, Cleveland, Green Bay, and St. Louis. They have two lucky wins, both at home, against San Francisco and Baltimore. They have yet to go on the road and beat a good team. Until they do that, I still am not buying them as legit elite team. Pittsburgh, 27 – Minnesota, 20.
i think i’m going to pull a moses and permanently banish myself from philadelphia. prior to leaving for college, a philadelphia team rarely made a deep run in the playoffs. during the 4 years i spent in college, the eagles got to at least the nfc championship game each year. then i move back to philly for 2 years and the teams do jack shit. then i leave again for school and the phillies win a world series and are still alive to repeat. i will have to live in the diaspora forever!