THE GREAT WAHL » Valentine’s Day

New Kids On The Block

Wahl — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 14:15:48 +0000

This one’s for the children.

First, a big ‘CONGRATS!’ to the Hollisters on their new 7lb 6oz baby girl, Sophia Mae. Born in the wee hours of Monday morning, she was almost a Valentine’s Day baby. It’s probably a good thing she wasn’t. But her future boyfriends will surely be happy that they can probably kill the two birthday and Valentine’s birds with one dinner/flowers/chocolate stone.

The Hollisters were the first of my good friends to get married. They still are the only ones to have tied the knot (though I do have a half a dozen weddings to go to this year). Now they are the first to have a kid. I guess that means I have to start maturing? Oh well…

Secondly, my mom is headed down to Arkansas today to help out my sister-in-law, brother, and their three girls as Mindy goes through the last few weeks of pregnancy as she’s now on strict bed rest. Hopefully everything goes well and I’ll soon be ‘Uncle Wahly’ for the fourth time. I’m so excited.

And that also means its only a matter of months before my parents start asking me when I’m going to give them grandchildren #5, 6, and 7. (It will be quite a while, mom).

Happy Valentine’s Day

Wahl — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:25:20 +0000

Love is grand. Especially on the Jerry Springer Show.

Nothing puts you into the Valentine’s Day spirit like watching some good hair pulling and clothes ripping between lovers and their toothless mistresses:

Believe it or not, Jerry Springer has his own YouTube Channel with tons of videos in case you need to get more of a fix.

And if you want to try and get yourself into one of these little fun relationships, check out the recent article on speed dating from B Jones, The Great Wahl’s resident love expert.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Your One Stop Shop

BJones — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 15:39:06 +0000

(Editor’s Note: Football season, as we all now have painfully realized, has come to an end. That means that this blog has to expand it’s horizons and try provide you with other unqiue, entertaining content for the next six months. And what better way to kick that off than with an article from a guest columnist?

I first thought of booking Dr. Ruth, but I found a better source to give you some love advice for this Valentine’s Day weekend. BJones, normally a purveyor of NCAA Football Previews, has been kind enough to share his recent experience at a Speed Dating event he attend this week with The Great Wahl masses. An entertaining, and very informative read. Enjoy.)

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B. Jones, Sr. Great Wahl Love Expert

February 14 brings the former feast day (since wiped from the liturgical calendar) of Saint Valentinus. The alleged burial of this worthy martyr or group of martyrs on Rome’s Via Flaminia might lead The Great Wahl readers to believe that Wahl has put me to the task of addressing this holiday from a historical perspective given my Classical tendencies. But nay, rather, I write as The Great Wahl’s first romance columnist, raising, or perhaps sinking, this site to a new level.

Casanova that I am, I figured why be responsible for just one box of Russell Stover, a dozen roses, a sappy movie, and an overpriced dinner, when I could be responsible for some 40 such packages? For those of you who don’t have 40 young lads or lasses lining up, and are a bit hesitant to take your chances on chatroulette.com, I suggest hitting the world of speed dating. And I will only make you more eager by sharing a brief experience of mine:

Having received a number of emails from the University of Washington’s Graduate Student Senate begging young men to sign up for Speed Dating 2010 because there were just too many wonderful young ladies signed up and eager to know as much about me as possible in 2 minutes, and having received a nudge from a few young ladies in my program, I took the leap. I could think only of the 40-Yr. Old Virgin and was eager for what I was sure would be a funny experience. And that’s tip #1 for you potential speed daters:

Tip #1 – Do not expect to meet your wife or husband

Of course, the young ladies that encouraged me to sign up bailed and I found myself in the UW HUB ballroom without any moral support.

Tip #2 (useful in all facets of life) – Never trust your wingman.

No problem, because we all know that success in this field requires confidence.

Tip #3 – Have some confidence and don’t let the betrayal of your wingmen, or ladies in this case, get you down.

And of course, there’s always a friend in a tension-breaking glass of wine, right? Wrong, this was a dry event.

Tip #4 – Hit a happy hour (but not too hard) before you arrive. Stay away from the happy hour onion ring special, though.

No wingman, no wine, no problem. I had a strategy: get in line behind a series of the creepiest mathematician, Trekkies I could find. Here, I was successful. Once the ladies get through five conversations about Yoda, a discussion on ancient philology can be nothing but refreshing, and five feet and six inches of a non greasy-haired, laundered-clothes-wearing man would be irresistible.

Tip #5 – Get in line behind such people.

Tip #6 – Expect someone to target you too.

In my particular case, a handsome, charismatic guy at about 6’3” of muscle took a seat right behind me. Thanks, guy. You beat me at my own game.

And then the bell rang and I exchanged two minutes worth of conversation with about 40 young ladies. While I’m not sure there were any wonderful sparks, it made for a nice night of conversation. I will spare Wahl’s readers the details, as none of the bizarre conversations I anticipated arose. Now we just sit back and wait as the speed dating officers start sending in the mutual matches.

Tip #7 – If you don’t write down any of the names of the women you were interested in, don’t expect to be able to remember them at the end of a 40-conversation night.

On the bright side, you don’t become vulnerable to finding that there were no mutual matches because you yourself were lame. On an even brighter side, you have 40 boxes of chocolate to yourself.

Stuff For Kids Who Can Read Good

Wahl — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 18:07:45 +0000

I always find too many informative political and economic articles to share, so I’ll select a few and throw them all in to one post of important stuff you should read to get your week started:

1. Maybe we shouldn’t be blaming our leaders for not being able to lead:

Down With the People:

“…the biggest culprit in our current predicament: the childishness, ignorance, and growing incoherence of the public at large.”

That’s you, Glenn Bleck-loving, Sarah Palin-voting idiots. (Some Democrats are probably to blame too…)

2. Topline GDP Growth was 5.7% last quarter:

2/3rds of that growth was just inventory adjustments — which will slow significantly in the coming quarters

3. Job creation continues to tread water.

Jobs Are Up! I Mean Down! Whatever…

4. Employment opportunities still remain weak (From Calculated Risk):

5. The Dallas Fed has some interesting charts comparing our current situation to past recessions:

6. Ladies, a great Valentine’s Day gift for that someone special in your life: A Heineken-pouring Robot.

7. Who Dat Gonna Have The Best Picture? Drew Brees and ~~the Saints~~ his young son, obviously:

That has to be a commercial. Or a poster. Or something. Right?